In a move that's raising eyebrows across Silicon Valley, Microsoft has announced a unique addition to its employee benefits package for those relocating to its new Three Mile Island data center: a lifetime supply of potassium iodide tablets.
The tech behemoth, which recently partnered with Constellation to restart the infamous nuclear power plant, is pulling out all the stops to attract top talent to its cutting-edge facility.
"We're committed to the health and well-being of our employees," said Rajesh Patel, Microsoft's VP of Nuclear-Powered Innovation. "This generous offer of potassium iodide supplements demonstrates our proactive approach to workplace wellness in the atomic age."
The tablets, typically used to protect the thyroid gland from radioactive iodine in the event of a nuclear incident, will be available to employees via convenient vending machines scattered throughout the campus.
"It's like a multivitamin, but for the nuclear age," quipped Dana Thompson, a software engineer who recently accepted a position at the new facility. "I'm looking forward to the warm glow of career advancement – and nothing else, hopefully."
Microsoft's HR department has been quick to emphasize that the potassium iodide provision is purely precautionary and not indicative of any elevated risk at the site. However, they've also introduced a quirky new slogan for internal use: "Code hard, code safe, and don't forget your I-131 blockers!"
In related news, local real estate agents report a surge in interest for properties with underground bunkers, while area supplements stores have seen a run on Geiger counters and hazmat suits.
As the tech industry watches this bold experiment unfold, one thing is clear: Microsoft is determined to remain at the forefront of innovation, even if it means embracing a slightly radioactive work environment. After all, in the fast-paced world of tech, sometimes you have to risk a little fallout to stay ahead of the competition.
