During what should have been a routine "guaranteed 100x moonshot" presentation on Pump.fun's livestream platform last Thursday, Harvard-educated NASA mathematician Dr. Elena Rodriguez interrupted cryptocurrency influencer CryptoKing_420's technical analysis with what she called "basic mathematical probability."
The incident occurred approximately 15 minutes into CryptoKing_420's presentation about his new token, $INFINITYGAINS, when Rodriguez apparently gained access to the stream's guest privileges and immediately pulled up his LinkedIn profile.
"I see you were Assistant Manager at Chuck E. Cheese until last month," she noted, before sharing her screen to display a series of devastating graphs and probability calculations. The stream chat erupted when she revealed a meticulously crafted pie chart showing that 99% of the token's promised use cases were "just different words for gambling," with the remaining 1% labeled "emoji usage."
Viewers reported a mass exodus after Rodriguez calmly demonstrated the long-term returns of a "boring" index fund compared to the platform's average token performance. Several high-profile crypto influencers attempted to counter her presentation with rapid-fire rocket emojis, but their efforts were mathematically disproven in real-time.
"She just kept showing more charts," reported one viewer, who lost their life savings. "Every time someone typed 'but the tokenomics' in the chat, she shared another peer-reviewed paper. When we tried flooding the chat with diamond hands emojis, she responded with a 30-year compound interest calculation that made everyone panic-sell."
The stream ended abruptly when Rodriguez began explaining how the platform's revenue projections were "mathematically equivalent to expecting every human on Earth to invest their entire life savings by Friday."
Pump.fun has since added "No Ph.D.s" to their terms of service and implemented strict verification to ensure all future guests have "zero background in mathematics, economics, or reality-based sciences."
CryptoKing_420 has announced he will resume streaming once he finishes "developing a new proprietary analytical framework that doesn't rely on traditional mathematical concepts like numbers." He is currently accepting applications for his upcoming master class in trading psychology, exclusively payable in $INFINITYGAINS tokens.
