Mazda has announced its groundbreaking "Pay-Per-Honk" subscription plan for all new models starting in 2025. Automotive enthusiasts and consumer rights advocates alike are at a loss for words.
The innovative service, which Mazda claims will "revolutionize driver communication," allows users to purchase honks in bundles, starting at a modest $4.99 for 10 honks or $19.99 for the "Road Rage Package" of 50 honks.
"We're excited to offer our customers more flexibility in how they use their vehicle's features," said Tom Anderson, Mazda's Vice President of Innovative Revenue Streams. "With Pay-Per-Honk, drivers can customize their honking experience while helping us maintain our commitment to shareholder value."
The announcement has sparked outrage among consumer advocacy groups. Jane Thompson, president of Drivers United, didn't mince words: "First, it was remote start. Now, it's the horn. What's next? Pay-per-brake? This is highway robbery, literally."
Mazda engineers have reportedly developed a proprietary "HonkLock" system that disables the horn until payment is processed. Early beta testers describe a harrowing experience of fumbling with their phones to purchase honk credits while navigating busy intersections.
"I nearly rear-ended a school bus because I couldn't warn the driver he was backing up into me," said beta tester Mike Johnson. "By the time I got the app open and bought some honks, I had to swerve onto the sidewalk. But hey, at least I saved $0.49 on that honk I didn't use!"
Not all reactions have been negative. Wall Street analysts praise Mazda's bold strategy, with some projecting a 200% increase in profits from drivers stuck in rush hour traffic alone.
Mazda has hinted at future plans to expand the program, including a "Premium Honk" tier featuring a variety of sounds ranging from polite beeps to full-on fog horns. The company is also exploring partnerships with music streaming services to offer custom honk tones.
As the automotive world watches with a mixture of horror and morbid curiosity, one thing is clear: Mazda's Pay-Per-Honk plan is sure to make some noise in the industry. Whether that noise will be affordable for the average driver remains to be seen.
