Following months of regulatory pressure, Apple has finally unveiled its solution for EU users seeking to access third-party app stores: the Digital Developer Authentication Pro Hub, a sleek aluminum USB-C dongle retailing for €999.
"This revolutionary device represents Apple's commitment to user choice and security," explained Lisa Martinez, Apple's Senior Vice President of Regulatory Compliance Innovation. "Each dongle contains a proprietary security chip that validates the user's understanding that they're making a tremendous mistake."
The 6-inch device, which must remain plugged into the iPhone during all third-party app store browsing sessions, comes in five colors including Courage Silver and Regulatory Rose Gold. A premium version featuring a polished titanium finish will be available for an additional €499.
Early reviewers noted several minor inconveniences, such as the dongle's tendency to trigger a full device reset if removed for more than 3 seconds, and its requirement for a separate €249 power adapter sold exclusively through Apple's new Third-Party Compliance Store.
"The setup process is quite straightforward," demonstrated Thomas Wright from TechReview Weekly. "You just need to register the dongle online, mail a notarized form to Cupertino, complete Apple's new 6-hour App Store Safety Course, and agree to release Tim Cook from any moral responsibility for your actions."
Apple has clarified that the dongle will only work during even-numbered months and must be re-authenticated weekly through their new Dongles & Security subsidiary in Luxembourg. When asked about compatibility with future iPhone models, an Apple spokesperson smiled mysteriously while adjusting their black turtleneck.
The company expects to ship "up to several" units to comply with EU regulations while maintaining their commitment to user security and innovation. A waiting list has already formed outside Apple Stores, with devoted fans eager to experience the freedom of choice that only a $999 hardware key can provide.
