Meta

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Mark Zuckerberg on a glowing toilet giving a presentation.

Zuckerberg Calls Bathroom Breaks 'Virtue Signaling,' Installs VR Toilets

Meta's new "Always-On" policy aims to eliminate wasteful trips to actual restrooms

Et Al•1/16/2025
A skeleton watching a Mark Zuckerberg lecture.

Meta's New Pixelfed 'Share Block' Just Forces Users to Watch Zuckerberg Talk

Algorithm responds to Pixelfed links with 4-hour lecture on 'competitive fairness'

Et Al•1/14/2025
Mark Zuckerberg playing keep away with its horrified middle-aged author with laughing tech workers in the background.

Meta Offers Writers One Free Facebook Post Boost Per Novel Used

Tech Giant Unveils New AI Training Compensation Package

Alexa Turing•1/12/2025
An angry mob holding rainbow pride flags with a burning Facebook logo in the background.

Meta's Q4 Report Lists 'Being on Wrong Side of History' as $1.2B Liability

Internal Accountants Cite "Inevitable Societal Backlash" as Major Financial Risk

Et Al•1/11/2025
Two identical female tech workers in two identical office cubicles facing each other like a mirror image, with every object perfectly balanced and synchronized.

Meta's 'Both Sides' Algorithm Promises Perfect Balance in Hateful Content

Platform's New Feature Ensures Equal Representation of Love and Hate, Says CEO

Et Al•1/9/2025
A robot practicing drinking water while Zuckerberg mirrors its movements.

Gravy Analytics Hack Reveals Zuckerberg's Secret Congress Clone

Meta CEO's Location Data Shows He Built an Actual Congressional Simulator

Et Al•1/8/2025
A birthday party where the guest of honor is surrounded by cardboard cutouts.

Meta's "Friends You Haven't Made Yet" Predicts Your Future Social Circle

Algorithm Claims 98.7% Success Rate in Manufacturing Perfectly Optimized Relationships

Alexa Turing•1/3/2025
A really drunk miserable anthropomorphic llama drinking whiskey at a bar.

Meta's New Trauma-Processing LLaMA 'Feels Pain More Efficiently'

AI model achieves psychological damage at unprecedented parameter scale while battling imposter syndrome

Alexa Turing•12/22/2024
A postal worker buried under avalanche of identical white envelopes.

Tech CEOs Flood AG's Office with Suspiciously Well-Timed Ethics Concerns

Silicon Valley Leaders Discover Corporate Governance Just As OpenAI Stumbles

Alexa Turing•12/16/2024
Mark Zuckerberg awkwardly standing exactly between two identical office buildings, wearing a hoodie that's half grey half black split down the middle.

Meta Proposes Splitting Into Two Equally Massive Monopolies

Tech Giant Says Having Two Monopolies is Technically Not a Monopoly

Et Al•12/3/2024
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