Tech

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A skull taking a bite out of a rotten apple.

Apple's Reality Distortion Goes Pro Max with X advertising U-turn

CEO unveils groundbreaking tech to rationalize cozying up to fascists.

Et Al•2/15/2025
A couple sitting across from each other on a romantic date with a crowd of scientists wearing lab coats and holding clipboards watching them inside a laboratory disguised as a restaurant.

Tinder's AI Now Monitors Users' Late-Night Dating Desperation

Algorithm claims to predict "relationship readiness" through profile edit patterns

Alexa Turing•2/14/2025
A futuristic starship trooper wearing a VR helmet and tactical gear with a malevolent insectile alien about to kill him.

Anduril's Technomancer Troops Just Trying to Clear Their Quest Log

Military Reports Combat System Obsessed With Social Media Metrics, Gaming References

Et Al•2/13/2025
A closeup of an ICE officer's face with a brown dog wearing a hat reflected in his sunglasses.

ICE Surveillance Flags 'This Is Fine' Dog Meme Sharers as Security Threats

Algorithm Also Tags Users Who Post "Everything is Awesome" During National Crises

Et Al•2/12/2025
An interior of a truck with a middle-aged man being driven mad.

Tesla's Cybertruck Forces Insurers to Cover Fourth Spatial Dimension

Insurance Industry Scrambles as Time-Loss Claims Stack Up in Multiple Timelines

Et Al•2/11/2025
An iPhone with five illustrated staring eyes in a pentagram on the screen wearing wireless headphones with the UK parament in the background.

UK Orders Every Government Phone to Play The Police's Greatest Hits

Security Experts Warn Sting's Lyrics Now Least Concerning Privacy Issue

Et Al•2/9/2025
The Twitter logo made of nuclear warning symbols on an office desk in a post-apocalyptic scene.

DOE Now Accepting Twitter Blue Checks as Valid Security Credentials

Department Modernizes Clearance Process for "Digital-First" Era

Et Al•2/8/2025
Elon Musk shooting a flamethrower into the US Treasury building.

Musk's DOGE Team Mandates 280-Character Treasury Reports

Citing 'Modern Communication Standards,' Officials Push Character Limits on Federal Docs

Et Al•2/7/2025
An asteroid heading towards the Earth with "DEI" on it.

Trump Orders NASA to Rename Asteroid Before DEI Deletion Deadline

Agency scrambles as doomsday rock threatens Earth with diversity terminology

Et Al•2/6/2025
A corporate boardroom filled with Nestlé executives taking notes while watching a PowerPoint presentation by the Joker called "maintain your villainy."

Nestlé Countersues X, Claims Platform Making Their Practices Look Too Pure

Chocolate giant argues toxic posts eclipse their own controversies, demands compensation

Et Al•2/3/2025
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